Heinessight.com:The official website of author Matthew D. Heines

Where's Matt?

     A master at the art of camouflage, Matt travels the world looking for new techniques to conceal his whereabouts. Look at the pictures below and try to guess where Matt is hiding and what country (or city) he is hiding in. If you get all the answers correct, you will win a brand new Corvette Stingray.*

(Answers are listed below under the heading, "Answers.)

*Offer not valid on planet earth. Winners must breathe hydrogen and have webbed toes in order to be eligible for all prizes. This offer expires April, 18th, 1775. Elvis Presley impersonators are prohibited from entering in Nevada, Utah and Tennessee.

#1 A. U.K.   C. U.S.A.

     B. U.A.E   D. A.S.A.P

#3 "The Ostrich"*

   A. Italy      C. Oman

     B. Greece   D. Canada

* The Ostrich is not an effective camouflage technique. 

#5 A. Canada    C. USA

     B. France     D. Germany

#7 A. Gulf of Mexico C. Gulf of Aqaba 

     B. Gulf of Oman   D. Gulfing with Tiger Woods

#9 A. Egypt   C. Egypt

      B. Egypt    D. Egypt

# 11 Hiding behind cows can be nutritious!*

    A. Germany   C. USA

     B. France       D. Poland

*I don't recommed hiding behind cows.

#13 A. Iceland                C. USA

        B. Canada                D. Russia

#15 A. Chocolate Sheikh C. Sharm el Sheikh

        B. Sheikh Your Bootie D. Sheikh it up baby

17. A. Sillyhaha                          C. Salalah

      B. Sala'am Alaikom               D. Syonara

 "Answers"

1-C, 2-C, 3-C, 4-C, 5-C, 6-C, 7-C, 8-C, 9-C, 10-C, 11-C, 12-C 13-C 14-C 15-C, 16-C 17-C, 18-C

Results:

If you answered "B" on question 14, Wal-Mart is not a country, yet, but the U.S. Congress is passing legislation next year to change that.

If you answered questions 2, 4, 9, and 12 correctly, you have an anti- 

social nature and were most likely raised in a confinement facility.

 If you answered A to #15, you probably have the munchies and need to cut down. If you answered B, you need to face reality; K.C. and the Sunshine Band ain't coming back. If you answered D, the Beatles ain't coming back either, unless it's for a matrimony suit.

If you answered question 11 incorrectly, you must be "udder" ly cazy.

If you answered either 1-4, 5-8, or 9-12 correctly, you had better get outside now because someone is stealing your car, man!

(Continued next column)

A. Redwood Forest                        C. Olympic National Forest

B. Sherwood Forest                        D. Forrest Gump

#2 A. Viet Nam  C. Nepal

    B. Japan       D. USA

#4 (Not a good place to hide)

  A. South Africa       C. USA

   B. Outer Mongolia   D. Egypt

#6 (Sometimes hiding means leaving undetected.)

   A. USA        C. Netherlands

   B. England   D. Burma

#8 A. Cambodia   C. Egypt

      B. Niger           D. Portugal

#10 A. Thailand   C. Oman

       B. Malaysia    D. India

#12 A. USA      C. Oman

       B. Qatar     D. UAE