Heinessight.com:The official website of author Matthew D. Heines

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Virtual Dinner with Matt

 

     Being a famous writer is not easy. One of the problems I face is the abundance of women, especially beautiful, wealthy, intellectual ones who just can't seem to leave me alone. I am always being asked, invited and sometimes even cajoled into dinner dates with women who only set themselves up for disappointment. The fact is, I am happily married to the woman of my dreams. So often, I try to get through meals without letting this piece of information slip out, but, inevitably the subject of long-term relationships comes up and when it does and I tell the truth, I usually get stuck with the check.* After years of breaking women's hearts who want nothing more than to spend some time with a handsome, charming, suave, debonair, "Tom Cruise" type like myself, I have come up with a solution to make everyone happy. It's called "Virtual Dinner with Matt," and it's simple, easy and fun to do. All you have to do is click on this page on my website, put on a nice dinner gown, cook your favorite dish and eat it in front of the computer. As you scroll through the pictures, you can A) choose your favorite location and setting or B) pick your favorite conversation starter. Then just share your thoughts and feelings and enjoy that tuna cassarole while I listen. Bon appetite!

Pizza in South Seattle
"Crashing family reunions is a great way to save money."
 
Apple Pancake at the Oak Table in Sequim, Washington
 
"You look like you could use some dieting tips."
 
Dungeness Crab in Dungeness, Washington
"Ever had any other kind of crab(s)?"
 
 
Turkish Coffee in the Sinai
"Wow, are those real?"
 
 
Masala Dosa and Ootapom in Delhi, India
"There's a huge sale this week at Value Village."
 
Breakfast Burrito in Katmandu, Nepal
"I think I forgot my wallet."
 
 
Mini escargot in Idaho
"Did you see Oprah yesterday? I was cryin' like a baby."
 
 
Barbecue in Sohar, Oman 
 
"Guess which one is yours!"
 
                                            
 
Biscuits and Gravy in Glacier Park, Montana 
"I haven't bathed for a week."
 
Turtle Soup on the half-shell, Masierah Island, Oman
 
"Split the check?"
 
Eggs "Benny" at the Oak Table in Sequim, Wasington
"Are you affiliated with Chris Hanson and Dateline NBC?"
 
Cheeseburger at the Teddy Roosevelt Lodge, Yellowstone National Park
"In a past life, I believe I was one Caesar' sandals."
 
 
Burger and Pasta on the beach in the United Arab Emirates.
"Have you heard the good news about Amway?"
 
Chinese Noodles in Seattle
 
Are you familiar with the term, "Dutch Treat?"
 
 
Lobster in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt
"Have you lost weight?"
 
 
Refreshments after dinner, Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt.
"You're lookin' shuper. Whatsh your shecret?"
 
 
 
 
 
Had enough to eat? Now, instead of picking up the check, why not use that money to order  of my books by clicking here. That way you can enjoy my charm and wit any time. And don't worry, I'll leave the tip!